a wish I never wanted
by Woman of the Sea
Summary: It has been ten years since the Tucks have left, now 20 and married unhappily, Winnie just had her first child but something went wrong. Now she has to face a whole new set of problems without help it seems. Winnie/Miles Jesse/oc. give it a chance please promise it won't be the worst you have read lol
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Dairy,_

_Today is my 17__th__ birthday. Yah for me I guess. It has been 7 years scene the Tucks left. I miss them very much and I have thought long and hard about the spring and I now know that I cannot drink the water. I met Jesse when I was 10 I didn't know what love was, I still don't know what it is. Jesse was the first person who likes me for me so i made myself believe that I loved him. _

_I remember looking into his eyes and seeing the NEED to have someone to love but not actual love. I don't blame him for that. All those years alone, anyone would want someone to hold and love, but I am not that person for him and he is not that one for me ether. _

_I will not drink from the spring and I have made sure that no one will drink from it ever again. I had my father pull down the Tuck's tree and filled in the spring, but right before that I filled a few good sized vials with the water. I, now wear one around my neck and have the others hidden. I keep them in hopes that if the Jesse and Miles ever find someone that would drink from the spring they will still have a way to do so. I plan on passing them down to my first daughter and so on, along with the story of the Tucks._

_I must go now because my mother is calling me to meet my new fiancé. Arranged marriage. I just hope he isn't like the last man I scared off._

_Winnie_

_Dear Dairy,_

_I am now 19, and today is my wedding day. I have put this off for as long as I could but I can no longer stall. I was hoping to fall in love with one of the men but they were always only in it for my parents money. _

_I am to marry an evil man who has told me I am not to speak after the wedding to anyone that is not my parents or him. I am to sit there and look pretty. Smile and nod as he put it. I only wish the Tucks were here for this day. That would make is somewhat bearable._

_I have not heard from the Tucks and I wonder if they even plan on seeing me again before I die. Do they miss me? Or was I just a little girl who they can't remember?_

_I can't think of this right now, I am already sad enough._

_Winnie_

_Dear Dairy,_

_Has been a month scene I was married and that Thing has made my life a nightmare. I must wake up in the morning and cook him breakfast before he rises, if I don't finish in time he will beat me. I must clean the house afterwards, the do the cloths, rub his feet, make lunch, do the dishes, do the laundry, make dinner and then I must…. Please him. If I refuse to do any one of those he beats me and I will not be allowed to eat. If I do not please him then he will do it by force and with a lot more pain._

_I have given up hope that he will change; though that hope was never strong it was still hope. And hope is the one thing that keeps me going. _

_I have a new hope now. That Thing has been saying that he wanted a child and I found out today that I am pregnant! Maybe when he finds out he will at least lighten my work load._

_I am going to tell him right now._

_Winnie_

_Dear Dairy,_

_I am in my last days of this pregnancy. Once I told him I was pregnant he told me I was not doing any work until the baby was born. He started to treat me like a husband should treat a wife but I never forgot how he was, what he really was. He left a few days ago and I believe he will miss the birth of his first child/_

_The water I once wore around my neck is now in with the rest of the water. I had to do that after my husband tried to break the bottle when I didn't wear one of the necklaces he bought me as a present. The water is now in my bed side table drawer._

_I have just turned 20. It's hard to believe it has been 10 years scene I last saw the Tucks. Sometimes I wish….._

"Mother! Urgh. Mother! The baby! It's coming! Help!" cried out a heavily pregnant woman. Her blue eyes shimmered with tears of pain as she called for help.

An older lady came running up to Winnie was she cried. "Hush, child. It's okay. Your father has left to get the doctor." She said as she helped Winnie into her bed. "Let me go and get you some water." The older woman rushed out of the room to the kitchen. But when she got there she found that there was only a little water left. She scoped up what she could and ran back to her only child.

"Here you go Winnie, I am afraid that is all the water you have though." She handed Winnie the cup and Winnie gulped down the whole thing.

A couple of hours had passed but the doctor still hadn't come so Winnie's mother delivered the baby by herself. Winnie was panting for the hard labor and was so tried. As she looked at her little boy she was so glad it looked nothing like his father.

"What is his name?" Winnie's mother took the baby from the tired mother and put him into his crib. As she turned around she saw her daughter pale with a hand on her throat. Winnie's mother suddenly remembered that Winnie has a necklace that has water in it. It may not be much but it should help her. She dug through the drawer and found it. She uncorked the bottle and slowly tipped it in to her daughter's mouth. Winnie was so out of it she didn't even notice what her mother had done all she knew was that the water felt good on her throat.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning light swam through the window of Winnie's bedroom, shining into her eyes as she slowly wakes up. But Winnie noticed something strange that jolted her awake. She wasn't in pain, pains that should be there after a long birth. Winnie felt great actually, too good to be normal.

"oh good your awake. You should not be able to move for a few days." Said Winnie's mother said as she came walking into her room, the little baby in her arms. "Do not try to get up, you may cause yourself harm. Oh and I am sorry about that necklace, you did not have any water so I had to give you some of that."

Winnie's mother continued talking but Winnie was not listening. She felt like ice water had been dumped on her.

_Of course, that would explain why I feel so good….. NO! what am I going to do! What CAN I do? I… I can't stay here, ageless, but I can't leave my baby here. I don't trust that man even if he wanted the baby. He would teach my baby to treat women bad but if I take him with me then that will raise a lot of questions as he grows up, both from him and others. I have to take him. I will not let my baby grow up with that monster as his father without me!_

"nie! Winnie! God did the birth do something to your head? What are you going to name the child?"

"James, James Foster."

"You mean James Decon? That is the child father after all."

"Mother there is something I need to tell you." And Winnie did tell. She told about what Decon had done to her first, then what happen that summer with the Tucks, and what that water really was.

Winnie's mother took Decon's part with grace, only slightly looking angry on the outside but on the inside she was fuming. When it came to the Tucks, she listened in disbelief, but when it came to the water she looked like she didn't want to believe that she cursed her daughter with eternity.

To drive the fact home Winnie took out a knife, and with slight hesitation she cut her wrist, some blood came pouring out, but when she wiped it away her wound was healed like it was never there in the first place.

Winnie's mother started crying into her hands as Winnie moved to comfort her but her mother pushed her away. "I… I bathed James in the water! What if it affects him? What if he never grows up?" Winnie went and looked down at her baby boy, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"I need to leave, mother I cannot stay here. Tell everyone I died in child birth and that James was still born. Tell them I wanted a close coffin, tell them the baby was disfigured and I wanted to be holding the baby when I was buried."

"Where will you go? How will you live with no money?"

"I will make do. If the Tucks ever come back tell them…. Tell them I loved them. Let them try to find me if they want. I cannot stay here to wait." Winnie started to walk around her room packing when she stopped. "If I am dead I cannot pack. What can I do? I need money but I cannot take from the savings, he will notice." Winnie ran her hand through her hair as she started to put back what she had packed. Winnie's mother watched her daughter as she had a small melt down. She looked down at the last two vials of water. She knows that she had to stay here to make Winnie's story believable, but god how she wanted to help her child!

"Take two hundred from the safe, I will say it is for the coffin. I have 3 thousand saved up for your son's education. I will give that to you. That should keep you a float for several years if you spend it right. Take the water with you. You need to leave tonight. Go a couple towns over and buy a train ticket to where ever as long as it is far from here. Know you cannot come back here, but I still expect letters. I will say you are one of my old friends, but wait a few years until you wright." Winnie's mother started to the door when she was embraced from behind.

"Mother I love you, even though when I was little it did not show, I have always loved you and I will always love you. My son will know of you." Winnie told her mother as she clinged to her mother's waist.

Winnie's mother slowly pulls Winnie's hands off her waist and turned around. She put her hands on Winnie's check. "You were one of the worse kids I had ever met but you are one of the best people I have ever met. And I am so proud that I am the one who gave birth to you. Now get ready to leave."

Dear Dairy….. No Dear Tucks,

At the time I am wrighting this it has been ten years since you left. During the birth of my first child I was forced to drink the spring water.

I am leaving Tree gap for reasons that should be clear. I don't know where I am going but I hope one day we will see each other again. I left this dairy for three reasons. 1) I couldn't take it with me for someone to accidentally find and read it. 2) I couldn't leave it for my husband to read. 3) now you can read what had happen to me since you left.

Soon you later… maybe

Winnie

Like? Dislike? Anyone there?


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